March 2012
Mom: LET'S GO I'M READY
: 10 minutes go by
Mom: are you ready yet?????
Me: I've been standing at the door waiting for you for 10 minutes
Mom: Ok I just have to pee and change clothes and water the plants and feed the dogs and cook dinner and swim the english channel
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum goes to use his vibrator and realizes he is out of AAA batteries.
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum’s debit card gets declined at the supermarket and he doesn’t have any cash and there’s a huge line behind him and everyone is glaring at him.
I’ve got myself, I’ve got my friends,
I’ve got my little family, but that’s not...
– 1234 1234-
Streetlight Manifesto
(via needs-more-brass)
Tumblr: Here, have some kittens...
Tumblr: Delicious food? There.
Tumblr: I bring you some beautiful, insipiring art...
Parents/Roommate/Boss: *walks into the room*
Tumblr: PORN?
Tumblr: YOU SAID PORN?
Tumblr: DID I HEAR DICKS?
Tumblr: WHAT WAS THAT DID YOU MENTION HARDCORE GAY SEX?